Things I Thought Were “Just Me” and Would Pass - Before I Was Diagnosed

Things I thought would pass.

Things I tried to explain away.

One of the first things I noticed was my speech.

My speech started to become slurred, and I found it incredibly difficult to speak. I remember trying to tell someone at the time that something wasn’t right, but I was told it was probably nothing and that it would pass.

So you start to question yourself.

If someone tells you that you’re okay, surely you must be okay?

If a doctor tells you there’s nothing to worry about, surely it must all be in your head?

Right?

But deep down, I knew something wasn’t right.

At the same time, I was also experiencing drooling and had pain from my wisdom teeth. Somehow, I put the two and two together. I thought perhaps my speech difficulties were because of my wisdom teeth.

So I had both of my wisdom teeth removed.

But my speech difficulties remained.

There was no sudden improvement. No moment where everything went back to normal.

I just had to carry on.

Then came August 2023.

A friend’s wedding.

By this point, I didn’t feel physically or mentally well, but I still showed up. I remember being in so much pain and feeling completely unlike myself, but I tried my best not to let anyone see it.

I wanted to be there.

I wanted to act normal.

I wanted to believe that whatever was happening to me would eventually pass.

But there is one moment from that day that has stayed with me.

One of my friends noticed that my hands were shaking tremendously. She asked me if I was okay.

I said yes.

I told her I was just tired and cold.

Looking back now, I realise how often I did that.

I explained things away.

I minimised what I was experiencing.

And when you’re repeatedly told that nothing is wrong, you can start doing it to yourself too.

You start wondering whether you’re imagining things.

Whether you’re overreacting.

Whether maybe it really is all in your head.

But it wasn’t.

I didn’t know then that my slurred speech, difficulty speaking, drooling and tremors were symptoms of something much bigger.

I didn’t know that I had Wilson’s disease.

At the time, I just knew that something wasn’t right.

And perhaps that’s the part I wish I had listened to more.

That feeling.

That quiet voice telling me, this isn’t normal for me.

Because sometimes, your body is trying to tell you something long before you have the words to explain it.

I wish I had known that then.

I wish I had understood that I didn’t need to wait for things to become unbearable before taking them seriously.

And most importantly, I wish I had known that it wasn’t “just me”.

There was a reason.

I just hadn’t found it yet.