Nicole Albano’s Story

I was a senior at Anna Maria College studying graphic design when my speech suddenly began slurring. Then I started having spasms in my arms, my face drooped, and I had an unsteady gait, along with other dexterity issues.

After seeing a neurologist, getting an MRI, an electromyography test, and blood tests, I was diagnosed with mild generalized dystonia, a movement disorder where involuntary muscle contractions affect various parts of the body. I had to stop driving because of the muscle spasms, and I had trouble writing—and even making meals, buttoning buttons, and tying my shoes.

I took two years off from college to focus on getting better. I went through physical, occupational, and speech therapy to help improve my facial and body movements, and underwent Botox injections to reduce excess muscle activity. I had also become depressed, but I sought counseling and was able to return to graduating in 2009 with a bachelor’s degree in graphic design.

What also helped get me past my depression and despair was self-publishing a book about my struggles, Be Strong and Continue On: Overcoming Obstacles (Gatekeeper Press, 2016).

I don’t let my medical condition control my life, and even though it is a big part of my life, it doesn’t define me.

I am a freelance graphic designer and I founded an online apparel shop, Attitudes and Gratitudes, which features inspirational—along with witty and sarcastic—t-shirts, mugs, and more. But with my job comes a lot of stress, because I am a one-woman show taking on multiple roles. I do everything from creating content, handling orders, taking photos and videos, marketing, and shipping.

For the last two years, I have been receiving services from CHD’s Park Street Outpatient Behavioral Health Clinic in West Springfield. My therapist gives me a lot of advice on handling anxiety and gives me tips on how to improve my mental health. I can be very hard on myself because I love what I do for work, but she tells me to take mental health days when necessary, and to stay positive and remember that everyone has bad days—just as long as you’re not depressed for several days in a row.

During my worst bouts of depression when I was first diagnosed with dystonia, I recall staying in bed all day, but over the years I have come to terms with my disease—and depression.

I realized that I couldn’t live my life wallowing in self-pity. You’re dealt with the cards you’ve been given, so you have to live your life to the fullest, even if you have to go down a different path.

I wrote my book hoping that sharing my experience would comfort others in similar situations, and I also felt a need to educate people in general about dystonia. I wanted them to know that this disease can make you feel awful on the inside, even if you look normal on the outside.

Similarly, regarding my mental health journey, mental illness—like dystonia—can be an invisible illness, and I have found comfort telling my story to others. I hope I can help people with depression and anxiety. I think a lot of people aren’t getting the help they need. They keep it all to themselves. So, if I can help someone, why not share it?